The Challenge Double Agents Episode 15 Recap — Winners & Losers
Welcome back another another edition of Winners & Losers. For the second week in a row, a legend went home, and a fan favorite gained their skull. Inside this week: Chevy Chase is redeemed, we explore America’s different pizza etiquette, I finally relate to Fessy, and much much more…
Loser: The Maid
Towards the end of college, I lived in a house with nine other guys for a summer. Yes, ten college aged boys living and partying under one roof. I know you can physically smell that sentence from your screen, but I promise it smelled worse in person.
At the beginning of the summer, we all pitched in a did our part to keep the kitchen and other common areas relatively clean. But by the end of summer? You’d be lucky to find a clean fork.
Their kitchen is starting to remind me of those dog days of summer. Where the laziness really sets in and the person who may have wanted clean dishes two months ago, is ready to settle for whatever vessel is available.
Winner(?): Icelands Climate
We have three different seasons represented here. We have Big T rocking “basic Instagram girl out to a casual Saturday brunch at the cute little diner”. We have Kyle bundled up to go sledding. And CT is dressed to head out to the park to look at the leaves change on the trees in the fall.
Before checking the temperature on my phone, I always just look out of my apartment window at the people walking outside. That’s usually a more accurate representation of temperature than whatever lie iPhone weather is interested in telling me that day.
If I had to look at this photo to determine my outfit for the day, I would have absolutely no idea which direction I’m supposed to go.
Winner: Pierce Hawthorne
He is part man, part pillow…all carnage.
Loser: Ego
Fessy…c’mon man. I can see the gears slowly turning in his head from all the way in Chicago.
Fessy thought to himself, “hmm, how do I get guaranteed camera time now that Gabby’s gone.”
*lightbulb*
“I know! I’ll pick a fight with CT! That’s right, CT, I’m better than you. I ran faster than you today. And you haven’t won in awhile. I don’t care if that’s accurate or not. If I’ve learned anything in the last decade or so, accuracy isn’t important at all! I can just say stuff without consequences. Boy oh boy I can’t wait for the Klub tonight”
Winner: Hometown Pizza Preferences
Two things here:
- Everyone is from somewhere. This is why Lebron’s #JustAKidFromAkron shtick drives me insane. Everyone’s from a place. Just stating where you’re from is completely meaningless. Except for the time on Rivals when Jasmine angrily announced that she was from Houston before smashing a mirror with a solid right jab. That was awesome.
- Pizza is good everywhere. (Except for Williamsburg, Kentucky. Don’t ever get pizza from there. My parents and I had been driving for over ten hours one time, and would have eaten gum off the bottom of a shoe we were so hungry, when we got pizza from a place in that town and stayed overnight. We ate maybe two slices. It was the worst thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. I couldn’t even begin to describe the blandness.) So I don’t want to get bogged down in semantics here. Let’s just say I’ve been blessed with my pizza experiences having lived where I did. But the biggest difference in pizza origin, beyond even flavor and toppings, is how one eats the pizza. Nany’s from Buffalo, New York. And in New York, they fold their pizza slices exactly the way Nany’s doing it here. You can take the person away from home, but you can never take home away from them.
#JustAKidFromBuffalo
Winner: Effective Alarm Clocks
Imagine your alarm clock being neon blue and green LED lights strung throughout your house and an alarm you can’t get to turn off until you put on as many layers of Under Armor as possible.
If anybody needs some extra morning motivation to work out, this might just be the secret trick to unlock your potential.
Winner: Guess Who
“Does your person have a mustache?”
“No”
“Was it Sam?”
“Damnit, yeah”
“Fucking Sam. It’s always Sam.”
Winner: Gravity
I’ve weirdly brought up gravity a lot in this space, so for any of you reading that aren’t from Earth, I apologize for the continuous foreign references. But to give you an explanation, Gravity always wins. Every time. It’s the Lavar Ball of nature.
I suffer from severe height shock. If I were standing there and TJ was explaining this to me, I wouldn’t be reacting anything like Big T. I’d be reacting more like Adam scurrying away from a murderous CT on the Duel 2. Production would have had to chase me down.
Before a heights based daily challenge on Rivals, defamed Challenge legend Kenny once said “I don’t like stupid shit like this. I like to keep my feet on the ground where they belong”.
My thoughts exactly.
Shout out to Big T. I promise you us ground level truthers sitting at home are behind you 100%.
Loser: Headwear
This is two weeks in a row now they’ve given the cast head gear that made them look like complete and utter dorks.
It takes a herculean effort to make Nany look bad in something. But, I mean…
What are we doing here?
Winner: The Director of Photography
Did the Cohen Brothers shoot this episode?!
This was a beautifully shot daily challenge. They all looked so cool running in front of a mountain that seemed like a million miles away plastered in front of the bluest sky I’ve ever seen in my life.
I’d pay big money for an artist rendition of just Leroy running across that backdrop. That would be framed and hanging in my house for the rest of my life.
Winner: Fictional Cleveland Indians Fans
Winner: Fessy
Same, brother. Same.
I’m finally relating to Fessy. Wait a minute…Finally Relating To Fessy…New band name I call it!
“We are Finally Relating To Fessy!!! And we’re here to ROCK YOUR WORLD LOLLAPALOOZA!!!”
Loser: Jordan
This is twice now Jordan’s shown up in the Loser portion of this article during a season he didn’t even compete on. He had to have been laughing at home watching everyone land perfectly soft after the disaster he experienced before the Dirty 30 Final.
These Icelandic skydive instructors are no joke man. They nailed every single landing.
Winner: CT’s Frustrations
He didn’t have to be so ostentatious about it, but CT’s frustrations are understandable right now.
I’ve always wanted to see a Final that was more of a blown out version of the Double Dare Obstacle Course and a lot less of a triathalon with cow brains. But let’s be honest, a large slice of TJ’s Final is going to involve running. It always does. Beyond all of the puzzles and the different tasks, at some point they’ll come across a sign that says “Okay, now run six hundred miles but you have to wear the boxes your shoes came in instead of your shoes. If you did not think to bring the shoe boxes we gave you, you have to return to the house to get them. If you choose to just wear regular shoes, you must finish an entire wedding cake while wrestling this angry alligator before continuing on. Also carry this awkward fifty pound puzzle piece you’re not going to need until tomorrow night at 11:30.”
And no matter what she does or how hard she trains, it’s unlikely Big T would ever be able to keep up with CT regardless. And he knows that deep down, but he’s sort of trapped at this point.
Winner: Fessy
Oh my God. This is now twice that I directly relate to Fessy. You better believe I would be grabbing the Doritos to snack on directly upon return home. This is getting weird.
“Now introducing, to a sold out Madison Square Garden…FINALLY RELATING TO FESSSYYYYY!!!!!”
Winner/Loser: Cory’s Haircut/Me
All season I’ve clowned Cory’s haircut. And for good reason. It’s not his best look. But it finally payed off this week when he blew it out for the Klub. I take back everything I said. Cory’s awesome. I’ll never question his fashion choices ever again.
Winner: Themed Parties
God Covid sucks. I miss parties. Yeah, bars are fun and all and I’m happy to have access to them again, but nothing beats a good themed house party. Maybe one day, right?
Loser: Fessy
Alright, he almost had me. He was one shot of him holding the Sriracha bottle away from me officially being a Fessy fan for life.
Young cats always think they know everything. Second Season Syndrome is so real with this guy. He thinks making one Final and finishing in a millionth place gives him Challenge clout. I can see how it happens and I guarantee it would happen to most of you reading this (it would definitely happen to me).
CT has been dealing with guys effected by this syndrome for years, so it’s nothing new to him. But it’s a weird thing for Fessy to just overlook how recent most of CT’s wins have been. In fact, Fessy’s acting the way CT used to act when he always fell short.
One of the lessons every vet learns is that provoking The Challenge Gods is always a mistake. They are a group not to be trifled with, and talking the way Fessy was, holding onto a blow up boom box, , poking at a living legend, is just asking for trouble from upstairs.
Winner: Nany the Philosopher
That’s some deep shit Nany, pass the blunt this way man.
Loser: Aneesa
Okay but like, you know why, right?
On the other hand…
Winner: Aneesa’s Hall Of Fame Case
In my eyes, Aneesa’s been a first ballot Hall of Fame lock for a long time. But for those of you who don’t really understand why that is, and only want to look at stats and numbers and be an un-fun robot about it, let’s let Aneesa explain…
Preach. Aneesa has her flaws just like any of us. But unlike us, hers have been exposed over decades on national television. If you want to judge them, be my guest, they’re easy to spot.
Fessy saying “I don’t understand why she feels bad, she’s still in the game” is just completely missing the point. Aneesa knows the jig is up, but she just wants to be respected enough to not have to eat everybody else’s shit along the way.
She’s earned it.
Winner: Cory’s Kids
Clown on him for it all you want, but when Cory’s kids are old enough to contextualize it, being able to watch their Dad show so much emotion, bring them up all the time, and wearing shirts like this is going to bring them so much joy to re-watch.
Winner: The Pyro Gal/Guy
I was worried. We’ve gone almost a month in real time since we’ve gotten gratuitous arson. State unemployment claims are at their lowest level since before the pandemic began according to the notification the Wall Street Journal app sent to my phone ninety second ago, but job security is still fresh in millions of people’s minds. I’m glad these Icelandic pyrotechnic workers have Bunim-Murray to lean on.
Loser: Production
It is beyond clear that the goal of tonight was to ensure Big T won. But big time dick move to choose the elimination that Aneesa would by far look the worst in. Give her a shot to compete at least, right?
I wonder if TJ felt bad. I often wonder what TJ actually thinks of these people. I know he’s like the nicest guy in the world in real life, but deep down I know he’s got some shit to get off his chest. I’d love to sneak some Veritaserum in his drink one day and just listen to him spill the beans.
Winner: Big T
The Challenge is a funny game. Going into the season, Big T was clearly on the outside looking in on the strongest women’s field maybe ever. And now she’s got her Gold Skull and partnered with one of America’s great athletes.
She’s come long way since Jacob and his mustard.
Winner: Aneesa
She stated since day one that her goal this season was for a woman of color to win. While I feel as though the original intention was for her to be that person, either way, mission accomplished.
Plus, she’ll be back on our TV in like six days. So don’t worry fellow Aneesa fans, she won’t be out of our lives for long.
