The Challenge: All Stars Cast Breakdown
It’s actually happening.
When rumors of Mark Long contacting every single person who’s ever been on The Challenge in hopes of putting together an “OG’s” season began circulating, I initially had mixed feelings.
Do I really want to watch a bunch of reality stars from when I was a teenager be old, out of shape, and unable to handle their alcohol leave their families and real lives for a few weeks and compete on my favorite show for a bunch of money?
Of fucking course I do!
So here we are; clear eyes, full hearts, and a belly full of low expectations. The first trailer for The Challenge: All Stars has been released into the wild. While “All-Stars” might be a strong name for a cast that prominently features Big Easy and Trishelle, that’s not what we’re here to litigate. That content can be found everywhere else. This is a space for celebration.
So let’s break down the cast (ranging in birth years from 1969(!!!) all the way up to 1988 just so every demographic watching at home can feel equally old and useless) by catching up on when we saw them last and hand out some Yearbook Superlatives
Cast Member: Ace
Original Show: The Real World: Paris
Last Time We Saw Them: The Inferno 3 (2007)
Most Likely To: Have to leave early to host a Girls Gone Wild spin-off.
Cast Member: Alton
Original Show: The Real World: Las Vegas
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle Of The Seasons (2012)
Most Likely To: Perform an athletic feat so astonishing that an NFL team offers him a practice squad try-out mid season, only to turn it down while pompously eating grapes straight off the stem.
Cast Member: Aneesa
Original Show: The Real World: Chicago (The GOAT, don’t @ me. Shout out to Tonya. Shout out to Wicker Park. Shout out to skiball at The Flat Iron.)
Last Time We Saw Them: Last Wednesday (2021)
Most Likely To: Be on another Challenge very soon so don’t worry if she goes home at any point. Aneesa will never be out of our lives, now go back to sleep sweet summer child.
Cast Member: Arissa
Original Show: The Real World: Las Vegas
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle Of The Sexes 2 (2004)
Most Likely To: Cash that appearance check and never look back.
Cast Member: Beth
Original Show: The Real World: Los Angeles
Last Time We Saw Them: The Gauntlet 3 (2008)
Most Likely To: Be by far the most entertaining one there.
Cast Member: Darrell
Original Show: Road Rules: Campus Crawl
Last Time We Saw Them: Last Wednesday (2021)
Most Likely To: Win, honestly.
Cast Member: Derrick
Original Show: Road Rules: X-Treme
Last Time We Saw Them: As a Mercenary on Vendettas (2018)
Most Likely To: Record a podcast.
Cast Member: Eric “Big Easy”
Original Show: Fresh Meat
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle Of The Seasons (2012)
Most Likely To: Speak the phrase “I don’t care what these people think of me” or it’s derivatives at least a dozen times before eventually going down in a blaze of glory.
Cast Member: Jemmye
Original Show: The Real World: Back to New Orleans
Last Time We Saw Them: Final Reckoning (2018)
Most Likely To: Accompany Ace to the Girls Gone Wild shoot.
Cast Member: Jisela
Original Show: Road Rules: The Quest
Last Time We Saw Them: The Gauntlet 2 (2006)
Most Likely To: Spend the most time explaining who she is to everyone.
Cast Member: Jonna
Original Show: The Real World: Cancun
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle of the Exes II (2015)
Most Likely To: Make me miss Jasmine .
Cast Member: Katie
Original Show: Road Rules: The Quest
Last Time We Saw Them: Cutthroat (2010)
Most Likely To: Spend most of her time with a glass of red wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
Cast Member: KellyAnne
Original Show: The Real World: Sydney
Last Time We Saw Them: Rivals III (2016)
Most Likely To: Exemplify questionable decision making.
Cast Member: Kendal
Original Show: Road Rules: Campus Crawl
Last Time We Saw Them: The Inferno (2004)
Most Likely To: Gain a substantial amount of male Instagram followers.
Cast Member: Latterian
Original Show: Road Rules: Maximum Velocity Tour
(Quick aside: Road Rules had the wildest names for it’s seasons. Maximum Velocity Tour? I’m pretty sure I saw Blink 182 there sometime in the early 2000's.)
Last Time We Saw Them: The Gauntlet (2004)
Most Likely To: Make the viewers at home say, “who?”
Cast Member: Mark
Original Show: Road Rules: USA — The First Adventure
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle of the Exes (2012)
Most Likely To: Have production slant things in his favor (at least at first) considering he basically set this whole thing up.
Cast Member: Nehemiah
Original Show: The Real World: Austin
Last Time We Saw Them: Rivals (2011)
Most Likely To: Have the best weed.
Cast Member: Ruthie
Original Show: The Real World: Hawaii
Last Time We Saw Them: The Duel II (2009)
Most Likely To: Purchase some of Nehemiah’s weed.
Cast Member: Syrus
Original Show: The Real World: Boston
Last Time We Saw Them: The Ruins (2009)
Most Likely To: Be Derrick’s podcast guest. Seriously this man is available.
Cast Member: Teck
Original Show: The Real World: Hawaii
Last Time We Saw Them: The Challenge 2000 (2000, although this probably went without saying)
Most Likely To: Brag about having Ryan Reynold’s phone number.
Cast Member: Trishelle
Original Show: The Real World: Las Vegas
Last Time We Saw Them: Rivals 2 (2013)
Most Likely To: Get punched in the face by Aneesa.
Cast Member: Yes
Original Show: Road Rules: Semester at Sea
Last Time We Saw Them: Battle of the Sexes (2003)
Most Likely To: Have unfunny people like me say “No” out loud at home whenever his name is mentioned.
