The Challenge Double Agents Power Rankings — Week 11
Welcome back to another edition of Power Rankings! After taking a week off to present you all with my Mid Season Awards, I’m back full force with your favorite article of the week! Inside this edition, we say goodbye to two women who are very different heights, we dive deep into Lolo and Nam’s relationship, Cory’s living out a fever dream from five years ago, and much more…
20) Mechie (Eliminated)
19) Theresa (Last Week: 5)
“I’m not here to make friends” is a reality dating show trope as old as time. It’s something to pull from your back pocket to defend yourself against a myriad of criticisms. But as far as clarity goes, most of the time it’s an outright lie.
Making friends may not be your sole purpose for signing up for “insert dating show here” but it always matters. People inherently want to be liked, no matter who you are. And let’s be real, becoming more famous (acquiring metaphorical friends) is almost unilaterally the driving force behind the decision to sign up. Regardless of the reasoning one may attempt to forward through words, post-show actions speak volumes.
Theresa was absolutely, unequivocally, undeniably not here to make friends. I’d go so far as to argue that post-family Theresa is the first person be cast in at least the last decade without the goal of making friends (metaphorically or otherwise).
18) Amber M. (LW: 17)
Officially the lowest Amber on the totem pole now that she’s lost the Battle of the Ambers with maybe the worst elimination performance I’ve ever seen. She was either concussed or was wearing her helmet backwards. Before departing, she left us with the reality TV line of the century (“If there’s anything I don’t like, it’s fake bitches. And I feel like you fall into that category.”) but that about sums up her time with us.
It’s been a minute boys, dust off those pipes and sing these ladies out with everything you’ve got…
17) Josh (LW: 19)
When the Challenge Gods began having Finals ran as timed sections, rather than one straight race, I immediately got suspicious. While I understand that having the Final be a straight race almost always led to a “womp-womp” final episode. But what it also allowed them to do is ultimately manipulate the results in basically any way that they wanted to. Did CT actually beat Nelson on Invasion? Probably. But it was also the best story. So even if Nelson did actually win, they may have…oh right, Josh. Well, at least for our sakes Devin stopped giving him what he wanted.
16) Mature Nany (LW: 15)
Imagine after a decade of some of your worst moments as a human being filmed, archived, and dissected, you finally get your act together. You’re finally grown up and playing this game to win. Working towards your best shot at a million dollars you’re ever going to get. And then some jackass with a blog shits on you for it week after week. Mature Nany’s gotta feel like she can’t win. And it’s people like that guy that are going to ultimately drive her away.
I’ll tell ya what, if I ever find out who that jackass is, I got a one way ticket to the moon with his name on it.
15) Lolo (LW: 9)
Expectation management is the key to happiness.
I truly believe you can apply that across almost any medium and it becomes reality. And I truly believe that Lolo’s unhappiness is a direct response to that conundrum. She spent two weeks of quarantine pumping herself up to be one of the best in the house, if not dominant. Winning dailies, making power moves. Or at the very least just being generally involved. At the end of the day (shout out Nany) though, the exact opposite of all of those things has happened.
With that underlying frustration growing by the week like that snake game you played on your graphing calculator instead of paying attention in math class, meeting and being partnered with someone like Nam, in the Challenge house with essentially nothing else to do, assuredly made her mind wander far off into outer space. Drifting further away from reality by the day as far as what the truth of her relationship with Nam actually was.
Nam wanted a partner in a game show, Lolo wanted to devour his soul.
14) Nam (LW: 12)
We all have that one person in our lives that you know deep down you’ve never met anyone quite like them and you probably never will.
For you, it might be your sister. I have my friend Tom. And Nam has Lolo.
Now I can’t really say I’ve never met anyone like Lolo, because I technically have never met her before. But I’ve certainly never seen anyone on reality TV like Lolo Jones.
For Nam, The Challenge has nothing to do with TJ Lavin, MTV, or digging puzzle pieces out of the ground. For Nam, Lolo Jones is The Challenge. Language barrier be damned, there is nothing Nam could have done to prepare him for what was to come.
In Lolo’s defense, it doesn’t seem like Nam has been exactly direct in his communication. And she’s clearly someone who needs to be spoken to directly. But smiley politician Nam has probably just been walking on egg shells, doing his best to say the right thing.
13) Gabby (LW: 16)
Has to still be reeling from TJ’s insinuation that her gnarly level is the same as Amber M’s. After watching her flop around like a slimy seabass on a dry dock attempting Hall Brawl against her fellow Amber, that might go down as the meanest thing TJ’s ever said to someone.
Tough look for Gabby, as she was just starting to build some momentum. She fake kissed Fessy (more on that in a bit), she won her first daily challenge, and then our boy Thomas Joseph eviscerated her and the horse she rode in on in front of her peers and the millions more at home watching.
12) Amber B. (LW: 18)
Amber B. and the B stands for Gold Skull. Vanquishing a foe is a rewarding experience in any capacity, but eliminating an enemy that shares your likeness is a whole ‘nother ballgame.
Speaking of, is it a coincidence that the last two women sent packing (Theresa, other Amber) were also the two women who tried getting into an argument with Amber B.? Probably, yeah. But it still warranted mentioning.
11) Big T (LW: 11)
Don’t argue? What’s going on? What show am I watching? What do you mean do not argue? That’s like half of the point of this show. Asking them not to argue it like asking a basketball player to stop dribbling.
Sometimes, Big T, you can take positivity too far. Read the room.
10) Cory (LW: 14)
How he Jedi mind tricked Amber M. into volunteering herself is some David Blaine level black magic fuckery if I’ve ever seen it. But you gotta give credit where credit’s due. Cycling through a rotating cast of attractive female partners for an entire season is a fever dream Cory may have once had in 2017, but now that he’s out of the game and firmly entrenched in the game, it all just seems like a cruel joke.
9) Darrell (LW: 13)
His simple, realistic approach to wading through everyone else’s bullshit has a refreshing subplot this season. Calling out Cory for just simply wanting to rid himself of Amber M. Hitting Lolo with a “not my problem” as she pours out her soul to the group. Even going all the way back a couple months ago hitting Wes with a “he ain’t that rich” confessional dig.
But having a partner with a Gold Skull while you still search for yours isn’t necessarily an advantage and the clocks ticking on Darrell’s opportunities.
8) Aneesa (LW: 10)
Been a quiet couple of weeks for our girl Aneesa. The only thing of note I can remember her doing is being visibly upset that she didn’t win Whoppers for life two weeks ago. But I mean honestly, who wouldn’t be?
7) Fessy (LW: 8)
Okay but like deadass, if Fessy never got called back, would anyone besides Fessy, Fessy’s family, and Josh actually care?
I’ve been off Fessy for awhile, and he’s done nothing so far this season to change my mind (not that he cares). His energy is just not right for the things this show is attempting to accomplish. I’d go as far to say his actions are actively antagonistic to the show and drags the overall product down. Maybe Big Brother actually does just kinda suck, and the people they’ve cast are all the evidence one needs to espouse that theory.
Case in point, Fessy’s ultra-aware-of-the-cameras-“I’m an introvert”-talk-as-spitting-game move he used on Gabby. Like, is that what we want to see? What was charming and/or endearing about that interaction? You know who doesn’t talk about being an introvert on reality TV? Introverts.
Maybe I’m just not getting it and Josh/Fessy/Kaycee/Paulie etc. just aren’t my cup of tea. Which, okay, fair enough. Not every person is for every person, yin and yang, yada yada. But overall, you can miss me with that entire show. Speaking of…
6) Kaycee (LW: 7)
She’s probably still reeling from getting stuck in the middle of Lolo and Nam’s blow up outside. I really do feel bad for her, that could have happened to anyone. Nobody deserved that.
Seriously, if she announces to TJ next week that she just wants to go home and quit, then explains to the situation to him, I think he might give her a ride to the airport.
5) Devin (LW: 6)
In film school they teach you “show don’t tell”. So, in honor of an education I never pursued, here’s my Devin section…
4) CT (LW: 4)
It’s now two out of three weeks that the Challenge Gods have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory on him. Starting to remind me of the CT of old, constantly banging his head against the artificial walls the the Challenge Gods built for him. There’s been some troubling foreshadowing lurking in the margins of his narrative, but if you just don’t think about it too hard and pretend it’s not happening it usually all works out.
3) Kyle (LW: 3)
I’d say that about sums it up.
2) Leroy (LW: 2)
It’s been ten years of these two in our lives. Appreciate them while we have them. Best case scenario we have roughly two months left with Leroy in our lives. And Nany might be right behind him.
You usually don’t know what you got ‘till it’s gone, but this time we’re all lucky enough to know Leroy’s going away. In that sense, this season feels like the end of a chapter in the Challenge book that I will write some day. Let’s hope the ending to Leroy’s section is more Deathly Hallows and less A Little Life.
1) Kam (LW: 1)
In probably her first L of the season, Kam was caught on video tape wearing this monochromatic monstrosity.
This is get-me-home-from-the-bar-and-back-to-sleep energy at it’s peak.
Thanks for reading! Be sure to check back before Episode 11 for my What To Watch For Preview. As well as Thursday after the episode for my Winners & Losers Recap! And as always, happy Challenge watching!!!
