The Challenge: Double Agents — Episode 5 Preview
What To Look For
Welcome back to another edition of What To Look For! We’re roughly 20% of the way done with the season, and our Challengers have officially started the backstabbing-friends-for-money process. This week fear drives anger, Wednesday’s are for the girls, we learn the definition of the word ‘chaste’, and much more!
- It’s Gonna Get a Little Fessy Back at the House
I touched on this a bit in Fessy’s portion of my Power Rankings, but I wanted to take a moment to expand on this point some more.
In the summer of 2010 when Lebron James took his talents to South Beach and joined the Miami Heat, my fellow Chicagoan's were furious. Not sad or disappointed. But legitimately angry. But after the initial wave of emotions, I realized exactly what we were upset about.
I wasn’t angry because Lebron spurned my beloved Chicago Bulls. I was angry because deep down in my heart I understood what so many others did, that the Bulls were fucked. Led by a young Derrick Rose, the Bulls were entering the first legitimate title window of my lifetime (I was too young to really remember MJ in the 90's). But in basketball the best players always win, and I knew the Bulls weren’t ever going to beat those guys. And they didn’t.
Fessy isn’t quite as inevitable as Lebron James is, but the point remains the same. Based on the outfits in the preview above, when the gang returns to the house, he will certainly have some sins to atone for.
But what the rest of the guys are really angry about, deep down in their heart of hearts, is that their biggest competition just punched his ticket to TJ’s Final.
- The Future Is Female
Heading into Episode 5, we’ve still only gotten one women’s elimination. Arm injuries to Nicole and Liv on the same daily Challenge took care of the pomp and circumstance usually surrounding a cast member’s departure. One byproduct of this is that most of the girls have been able to keep their hands clean. This change may set off some of the fireworks that this season’s been missing (sans Josh, but that’s like so, ugh, ya know?).
Kam made her big move week one and has been coasting ever since. Mature Nany and Theresa are both too grown and focused to be giving up the goods. Natalie is the only one who’s accomplished anything. Lolo’s busy debating the merits of abstinence with herself in a closet. The Amber’s aren’t a threat. Gabby’s been a ghost. Big T’s riding the wave. Tori and Kaycee are fine. And Aneesa, who first showed up on MTV three full years before Usher and Lil’ Jon released the hit song Yeah and changed middle school dances forever, is somehow the only one churning the drama butter.
Only one of the five Gold Skulls on the women’s side is accounted for, and with heavy hitters Nicole and Ashley already out of the game, the women’s field is as wide open as it’s been in a long time.
- Seven Minutes in Heaven
Can we just get one, ONE, drunk make-out? Or anything at all debaucherous? I can’t believe we’re four episodes in the can and not one person has made out with anybody. Maybe the Challenge Gods showed Fessy’s lack of game as a way to tell us, “look, it’s cold and a million dollars is a lot of money. It was quite the chaste season”.
My response? Don’t patronize me by using big words like chaste. Also, it was cold last season and Nany took care of this problem with Asaf in the first fifteen minutes so I don’t wanna hear it.
My solution? Lower the prize money. Go back to the winner gets 125,000 or something like that. Still a ton of money, but not so much that you won’t turn down that extra cocktail at Klub K0ViD. We’ll never see it, because the Challenge rarely goes backwards. But it would bring back some of the fun we’ve been missing.
Thanks for reading! In case you missed it, be sure to check out my updated Power Rankings before enjoying tomorrow nights episode. As well as other evergreen content such as Volume 2 of my new series, A Moment in Challenge History. And be sure to check back on Thursday afternoon where I recap the Winners & Losers of Episode 5. Happy Challenge watching everyone!
