The Challenge Pluto Rewind: Battle of The Seasons Episode 11 — Winners & Losers

Welcome back to another Pluto Rewind!!! This time around we have the penultimate episode of Battle of the Seasons titled “I Like to Move It”. Inside this edition: Chet’s a jerk, Sarah’s never seen Finding Nemo, Zach shops at the mall, and much much more…

Loser: Loud Hats

“Hey man, what’s up? My name’s Brian, nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, I’m confused. What do you mean ‘what do you mean’?”

“It’s on my hat, stupid. My name is on my hat. I wear it so I don’t have to have silly conversations like this with silly people like you.”

“Uh, okay. Good talk dude.”

Loser: Detroit

The Tigers play in Detroit, Dustin. Not Namibia. Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.

Loser: Sam and Derek

How long did they argue about both wearing the same ugly Under Armor hat before they settled on “fine, we’ll both wear it and cock it at the exact same angle”?

Winner: Corporate Synergy

This episode aired in 2012. If I’d have told you then that ten years later the Jackass guys would still be getting punched in the balls and blowing up Porta-Potty’s, would you have believed me?

Yeah, I guess I probably would have believed me too.

Loser: Trishelle

Hey Trishelle, your Trishelmet is on backwards.

See what I did?

We have fun around here.

Winner: The Mall

Sick rubber Spencer’s bracelet Zach. The real question is, what did he go to Spencer’s for originally, before grabbing that from the bowl near the register and adding it to his purchase? Or was he just cruising the mall to get some fresh gear for his reality TV debut, finished clearing out the sales racks at Zumiez and Pac Sun, and hit up the Spencer’s across from the food court to laugh at the dildos and whoopee cushions?

The ones that said ‘BOOBS’ in large neon green lettering were the ones that were huge at my school. I never really got it though, there’s something to be said for subtlety. Wearing an oversized rubber bracelet that said BOOBS on it sure isn’t that. Plus my Mom simply would not have been cool with that.

Loser: Dory

I’m pretty sure it’s “just keep swimming”, but it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Aladdin.

Winner: Trishelle, Chet, Devyn, Sam, Ashley, & Jonna

So for this last daily challenge before the Final, one member of the team has to drive an ATV in a straight line for roughly ten feet, and the other has to swim a long ass distance to go ring a bell and then swim a long ass distance all the way back.

What does the ATV person have to do afterwards? Nothing. Nothing at all. Their job is to drive an ATV in a straight line not very fast at all and for not very long at all, and then that’s it.

The people who had to swim ended up mostly looking something like this.

One seems like a much harder task than the other. I have a sneaky suspicion Fessy would have definitely volunteered for the ATV portion of the proceedings.

Loser: Chet

“Hey man, it’s me Brian. I never caught your name earlier.”

“It’s on my shirt, you moron.”

“Jesus, dude, I was just saying trying to make conversation.”

“Don’t use his name.”

“Who?”

“Jesus.”

“Why? Is that your name?”

“My name’s Chet.”

“See? Was that so difficult?”

Winner: Africa

Somebody read the pamphlet on the plane ride to Namibia!

Loser: Billy Batts

It’s a good thing Frank was sitting in a plush South African AirBnB and not a bar in a Scorsese movie when he said that about Sam.

Come on, ya fuckin feel strong?!

Winner: CT

I’ve always been fascinated by the time on Invasion when CT broke this elimination game.

For those not in the know, this one involves tangling a rope around a structure, then switching sides, and untangling the rope that the other team tangled (I’ve never used the word tangle this many times and in this many ways before. What an accomplishment for a Monday morning.) and whoever does it fastest wins.

Many different strategems have been deployed over the years to win this game, but nobody has quite broken a game like CT did for this one. Instead of wrapping the rope around the structure and trying to make complex knots, CT just decided to wrap all the rope into one, singular, super tight knot that made it impossible to put your body through and untie.

Like coming up with a play in Madden that scored a touchdown every single time no matter what, CT found the glitch, sent Darrell home, and we haven’t seen this elimination game since.

So watching Jonna/Derek go against Frank/Ashley in this, all struggling to pull the rope and doing their best to try and be complicated, is just making me chuckle because it’s all so simple. Would I have known to do what CT did? No absolutely not. But he’s CT, an alien sent from another dimension to change reality TV forever. And I’m Brian, broke writer from Chicago.

Loser: Freezing Cold Takes

Welp. That aged poorly.

Winner: Long Walks

Little Known Challenge Fun fact: Jonna and Derek actually had to walk all the way back to America as punishment for losing.

I checked my Maps app to see how long it would take to walk from Namibia to Chicago, and apparently walking directions aren’t available or some nonsense like that. What am I even paying $124 a month for if not to be able to get walking directions home from South Africa? Brb, calling Sprint and cancelling my service. If you need to reach me, write me a letter I’m done with this phone thing.

Loser: Job Hunting

I hope Devyn’s job interview went well. Filling out applications is exhausting.

Winner: Residual Checks

Dustin actually gets fifteen cents from Under Armor every time this episode is streamed on Paramount+. Passive income man, that’s the key.

Loser: Analogies

Uh….what?

Loser: Anyone Who Wanted The Bed To The Left

Wait, I’m confused. Who’s Trishelle talking to? What’s his name again? It’s hard to tell and it’s been bothering me all episode. Real World: Brooklyn was so long ago, I just cannot recall this gentleman’s name. If only he had a hat with his name on it in huge yellow letters or something.

Winner: TJ Lavin, Motivational Speaker

“And if your mom tells you to take out the garbage just tell her ‘nah, I’m cool’ and just keep on movin.”

“And if your landlord says ‘I need the rent by Friday or you’re gonna get evicted’ just tell them ‘nah, I’m cool’ and just keep on movin”

“And if those police officers tell you ‘HANDS UP! DROP YOUR WEAPON AND TELL US WHERE THE MAYOR’S DAUGHTER IS HIDDEN!’ just tell them ‘nah, I’m cool’ and just keep on movin.”

See? It works in almost any situation. TJ Lavin is an oracle.

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Writing about MTV’s The Challenge, one of America’s great institutions, from a fan’s perspective. For inquires: brianbatty14@gmail.com

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Brian Batty

Brian Batty

Writing about MTV’s The Challenge, one of America’s great institutions, from a fan’s perspective. For inquires: brianbatty14@gmail.com

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