The Challenge: Double Agents Final Part 2 Recap — Winners & Losers
Welcome back to the Final Winners & Losers of Double Agents! What a season it’s been. When we first started this all, The Office was still on Netflix. So it’s been a minute. Inside this week’s edition: The Kayaking Industry celebrates, TJ loves room service, CT reveals some interesting fun facts, we crown some champs, and much much more…
Just like Ashley and Wes found out this season, prior successes can sometimes become a burden in the future.
Giving the dessert plate to Kam and Cory was an obvious decision. Too bad, and the editing made it hard to tell, but this might have been the final death knell for them. Once you’re behind in a Final, it’s almost impossible to ever catch up.
Also, I’ve talked my way into more than a few free desserts out to dinner in my day. It’s a talent I have, I’m not even kidding I haven’t paid full price at a sit down restaurant in years. And in all that time, I never thought a free dessert plate would be a bad thing. The Challenge is weird.
Imagine not only being stuck with Fessy as a partner but as a friend too?
Going on trips or planning anything with someone like Fessy can be like taking a cheese grater to your spirit sometimes. The selfish energy can be suffocating.
Nothing has been more of a boon and more of a blight on the kayaking industry quite like The Challenge. On one hand, it almost always has a place in the Final Challenge, so free advertising. On the other hand, IT LOOKS HARD AS FUCK!
Never on this show has kayaking looked like a leisurely activity that involves a simple solution. For decades, challengers have made kayaking look like the most complex task a human being can possibly complete.
As soon as Leroy and Nany, with all that momentum from leaving Cory and Kam in the dust, hit those kayak’s I literally said the words “uh-oh” out loud. I knew that having to put their heads together and figure this out, even though they’ve both kayaked as much as they’ve jumped out of airplanes at this point, was something Leroy and Nany don’t exactly…excel at.
Winner: The Location Scout
As far as aesthetics go, this is the best location for a Final I’ve ever seen. Yeah. That’s right. Super hot take. Comin’ at ya. Shake and move. Adapt or die.
He finally got to disqualify Fessy for good. My theory on one of the reasons TJ seems so god damn happy on All Stars is because there’s nobody at all like Fessy anywhere to be seen. No fun vacuums. No Dementors disguised as a former collegian tight end. No delusions of grandeur. Just like the final six that we ended up with on Double Agents, everyone there was happy to be there and having fun doing it. Speaking of…
Loser: Fessy’s Expectations
It’s roughly six hours in the air from Iceland to New York City. And I think Fessy said he lives in Florida so add on another couple of in-air hours. Plus all the in-between time waiting for planes, shuttles, etc.
That’s roughly a dozen or so hours of commuting time Fessy had to think about everything that just happened, all the mistakes he made along the way, and how he can make some changes to improve and win next season.
But let’s be honest, he definitely spent that time cursing out Kaycee under his breathe and blaming TJ for putting that exact rock in the exact place that Kaycee took her misstep. He probably blamed Amber for stealing him a week too early and made it so they weren’t partners for the Final.
Fessy is definitely under the assumption that it’s a fact that he should win The Challenge, completely skipping over the part that he has to earn a win on The Challenge. Sure he did get a bit unlucky with Kaycee going down, but that’s all part of it. Luck is a huge factor in winning The Challenge, it’s the unspoken attribute that connect almost every winner in every single sport. But for him, rather than a reality, it’s just another excuse.
And finally, I can stop writing about this dweeb. For at least a little while I guess, because like that cold sore you’ve been maintaining since college, you know he’ll be back eventually.
Winner: Leroy and Nany, Puzzle Masters
This the moment. This was the moment my hopes were the highest. Finishing a puzzle quickly was their only hope of gaining ground. Well…that and the editors doing their best to make CT and Amber’s lead look less daunting than it obviously was.
Loser: Us, Not Getting The Whole Story
Supposed to take over and then………you became CT from The Challenge??!?! What happened? I’ve never needed the second half of a sentence as much as I needed one right there. I would do anything to flesh out the details of everything he just said right there, holy shit.
Heard that brother.
Loser: The Number Nine
Yeah me neither man. Because seven ate nine. Seven’s out here doing wild shit. I don’t fuck with it either.
More on her in a bit, but she’s now earned a co-sign from Darrell and CT in the same season. All she needs now is Evelyn to come off the top rope and vouch for her to complete the troika.
Winner: Glacier Water
I guess I knew deep down that the concept was a thing, but I never knew glacier water specifically was a thing. But boy has it gotten a lot of play this season. Nothing a cold glass of glacier water in the middle of the night.
Winner: TJ’s Hotel Room
What do you guys think TJ ordered for room service? He had a long day, so it definitely seems like a cheese curds, Caesar salad, burger, and fruit plate kind of night. It’s all expensed baby! It’s the last night in Iceland let’s live it large!
Fuck it, I bet he ordered a PPV too. Probably Hobbs vs. Shaw or just something nice and easy so he can turn his brain off.
Losers: People Who Actually Have to Complete a Final
Nany out here speaking for the people!
I understand that it’s all part of the game, but Finals seriously look so miserable. Like honestly, fuck all of that. Good on anybody who watches this, and says “Dope. Count me in.” but your boy is not about that life at all.
TJ would hate me I think.
Winner: Match Me If You Can
Did I just see a commercial that showed Smashley on a dating show with a superfluous contestant from Rachel Lindsay’s season of The Bachelorette? It’s like reality TV madlibs.
You can count all the way in.
Until last week, I had no idea Leroy’s last season was a well kept secret. It makes sense I guess, that’s not exactly information you want out there. But I had no idea it wasn’t out in the open. Makes me sad a little bit. I bet some people regretted not taking advantage of their last season with him a little more. But on the other hand…
Winner: Conspiracy Cory
Remember when you were a kid at a sleepover with the only goal being to stay up as late as humanly possible, and then you’d look out the window at a glimmer of sunlight with half closed eyes and feel like you accomplished something?
I don’t really know what that has to do with anything, but here we are. It’s already typed and my backspace key is broken. Let’s move on.
Loser: The Camera Crew
“Alright Steve, Jess, Alice. Come get your assignments for the day. You three are going to be on top of a glacier. Also it’s going to rain all day and the wind is pretty heavy. So…yeah. Good luck. Let’s go get ’em today”
Winner: The Editors
They did an awesome job when I was watching live the first time of tricking me into thinking this race seem reasonably close. But upon further inspection, are we sure that CT and Amber weren’t absolutely dusting everyone else by the time they got to these final puzzles?
Like even that weird “omg r they lost” moment was pretty contrived the second time I watched it. They seriously may have been a half an hour ahead of everyone by that point.
Loser: Challenge Platitudes
That was completely useless. She said nothing. She sounded like my sophomore year offensive coordinator. He just spoke in phrases like that non-stop and spoke many words to say absolutely nothing at all.
I understand that she was doing her best to not give anything away, but I couldn’t help but make a Jim Halpert face at my TV and laugh out loud during the commercial break.
Winners: Amber and CT
But more on them in a bit…
Winner: TJ’s Leg
Usually there’s like flag or something, but LOFREAKINGL at touching TJ’s leg being the official ending to the race. Careful though, that’s how Voldemort tricked Harry during the Triwizard Tournament. It’s too bad portkeys aren’t a real thing. I’m sick of commuting to work.
Winners: Kam and Cory
Throughout the season, these two played basically polar opposite games. Kam ran the politics of the house behind the scenes and out in the open. She was front and center behind a plethora of different moves whether it was votes or being stolen multiple times.
Cory on the other hand, kind of sat out a lot. He went through partner after partner, missing two free helicopter rides along the way. But when he had his shot, he took it, and it worked. Second place is nothing to scoff at, but I’m sure eventually it’ll start getting played out for both of them.
Winner/Loser: Mature Nany/Old Nany
The worst part about her having success and doing so well this season, is that it’s hard to imagine she’s ever going to be anything but Mature Nany ever again.
She’s got her detractors, and she only added fuel to the fire with this Final performance, but the point is she’s proud of herself and accomplished what she set out to accomplish. Haters be damned.
Winner: Just A Garbage Man From Michigan
I’m not gonna lie. They got me.
I teared up watching that Leroy exit montage. I mean, that Breakfast Club song and a brief shot of Adam Royer? It’s like they made that for me.
I’ve written enough words about him this season, and how I feel about my favorite Challenger ever, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. Leroy will be missed, by us and the Challengers themselves. The show’s better when he’s there, and it’s as simple as that.
No man, for real, thank you.
If you had Amber B. winning on your Challenge bingo card, there’s only one of two options.
A) You’re lying
B) You’re related to her.
Rookies just don’t really win this show. Like, ever. I actually did at one point in this space put Amber B. in a section I called “Here For The Ride” and brought up how Turbo’s one of the only rookies to ever win it all and said she’s “no Turbo”.
“Well Brian, you my friend, are an idiot” is what I’d like to say to myself right now.
She proved everybody wrong, including the editors who basically hid her for the first ten episodes of the season. Still though, results speak for themselves and Amber is now a legitimate Challenge champion. Wild stuff.
Winner: CT’s GOAT Case
I mean, it’s hard to argue at this point, right? Bananas does have the quantity of hardware over him, but it’s like at the end of the day (shout out Nany) if they both ran this Final with Amber, who does better?
Probably CT right?
I’ve argued many times that CT’s legitimately one of the greatest athlete’s America has ever produced and I’m only 25% percent kidding when I say it. He’s now won across multiple eras, in multiple formats, with the biggest target in the world on his back the entire time. This was another impressive run by the greatest Challenger to ever do it.
Loser (?)(Winner? Maybe? I’m Not Sure): The Ending
That was a really weird last scene. I have no idea what that’s referring to. Does that mean next season is going to be Double Agents 2? Does that mean the game isn’t over, and at the reunion TJ’s going to roll out a bunch of tangrams and say “Agents! Your Challenge, begins right now”? I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.
See you all next week for the reunion!