The Challenge Double Agents Episode 9 Recap — Winners & Losers

Welcome back to another edition of Winners & Losers. Toxic T is out of our lives, and now that Amber M. is partners with Cory, expect her to be next. Inside this weeks edition Kam channels her inner Lannister, Lolo does it again, Kaycee’s lack of personality finally comes in handy, and much more…

Loser: Patience

Did Cory start making food before he even set his bags down? Or is he just picking at Fessy’s food here? Also is that a regular bowl in an oven? Is that safe? I gotta say the food situation this season has mystified me.

Loser: Big Brother

While division and tribal mentality might be tearing society apart at the seams in the real world, its always a good look on The Challenge. You’d think Devin’s hard and fast anti-Big Brother rule is a wild hill to die on, but week by week he looks smarter and smarter.

Winner: The Lannisters

Kam sipping coffee while listening to Nany’s requests and responding with “hmmmm” like a bored queen holding court for the third time this week was some real Cersei shit and I’m so here for it.

Winner: Amber M.

The lurking Battle of the Ambers finally bubbled to the surface this week. Amber B., while doing her best to create no waves, caught the wrath of Amber M., who has been doing her best to make as many waves as possible.

Amber M. got the one up this week simply because Amber B. refuses to even engage. She really took all those “how to deal with a bully” lessons from grade school to heart. When threatened she becomes as stoic as a statue, which doesn’t necessarily translate to the best TV, but it also gives Amber M. all the open wound she needs to feast on the blood of her enemies.

I knew they wouldn’t be friends for too long. Two people with the same name cannot co-habitat. Two CD’s don’t fit into the same slot.

Loser: Gabby & The Ambers

Roughly fifteen minutes of our lives were spent watching Gabby and the Ambers pontificate on the trustworthiness of each other and overall how strange it is that Amber B. went behind their back.

Here’s a thought…You don’t know these motherfuckers at all! You met on a game show playing for a million dollars. “Yeah, sure stranger on the bus, you can have my social security number!”

Time is a flat circle everywhere but on The Challenge. So I’m sure it felt like they’ve known each other for awhile. They get a mini-pass there. But honestly, if we’re going to let the rookies cook for the first time, it’s kind of a bummer all we’re seeing is them making are a crock pot full of classic rookie Challenge mistakes all slow cooking together. It’s like the Spiderman pointing meme but if there were three Spirdermans and Spiderman was a twenty something social media influencer.

Winner: Adulting

Wow, watching legitimate parent talk was a bit strange. Hearing mature, adult conversations on The Challenge is like seeing your teachers outside of school. It like, that’s the stuff I thought we were all watching the show to get away from.

I’m not a parent, so hearing that conversation didn’t necessarily hit home with me. But imagining my mom or dad talking about me in that sort of “I love you more than anything” passionate way is something that both of their children are going to be able to cherish and watch over and over again long after they’re gone.

Winner: Amber M. (Yes, again)

Who knows? It’s possible Amber M. is some trivia whiz. She may be on the short list to appear on Jeopardy some day. My guess? Probably none of those things. Point is, we’ll never know for sure. That might have been the luckiest thing to ever happen to a contestant on this show. Dodging the trivia challenge completely is like the opposite of being struck by lighting while cashing in a Powerball ticket.

Loser: Me

Some of these questions were legitimately hard. I got a bunch wrong. It’s possible I’m just an idiot. But even with the 50/50 chance to be correct no matter what I was missing a handful of surprising ones.

I might be in the minority here, but I thought that was one of the more fun daily challenges in awhile. Great music, great pacing, the entire cast seemed to buy in 100%. There was a physical element involved, plus it forced the cast to make social decisions under durress, which almost always leads to a fun outcome.

Loser: Wolves

I figured by this point the post Kanye Wolves Tweet PR Campaign would have been stronger than this. I know Kaycee was under substantial core muscle pain by this point, but missing that one was a tough look.

Loser: The CIA

Isn’t their whole deal that they’re a secretive operation? How come TJ Lavin has their financial records on an index card? They gotta do a better job at their job…or is that just what they want us to think?

Winner: TJ Lavin

On a dreary Monday morning at some point this fall, TJ got in an Uber from his hotel room in Iceland and schlepped to some conference room somewhere for a weekly production meeting. He was dreading it. The coffee in Iceland sucks and Stacy, the chatty PA, hasn’t left him alone about some new catch-phrases she wants him to try out.

And then, just when he began to day dream about dirt bikes, one of the producers snapped him back into reality saying “TJ, on Thursday, we’re doing trivia. Your thoughts?”

Winner: Darrell and Amber B.

Free Whoppers for life? Are you kidding me?

While my follow up questions are endless, I’m not going to kick a gift horse in the mouth on this one. Imagine Darrell and his family driving cross country in their camper when the kids start to get hungry. Guess what we’re having?? Whoppers!!!

Amber B. is staggering out of a club somewhere, craving drunk food. Oh wait, Whoppers on me bitchesss!!!!!

They didn’t seem as excited about it as I was watching it on my couch. But if I’m Theresa watching it all go down, and had to choose between Whoppers for life and this protein cannon…

…I’d bet she chooses Whoppers every time.

Winner: Burger King

I was worried about you, your Grace. It’s good to see that Viacom-Burger Royalty corporate synergy is still alive and well.

Loser: Us

I’ve been to morgues livelier than this.

Winner: Camo Bandanas

Shout out to Lolo Jones and her neverending unintentionally hilarious fashion statements.

Winner: Rivalries

Sometimes life makes no sense, and then there’s Nany and Theresa in a room together. The orange juice and toothpaste of The Challenge. Essential on their own, but completely destructive when cohabitating a space.

Winner: Kaycee

You know how I knew she was going to win? Because for the last nine weeks in my desperate attempts to make her interesting for the articles I write, I’ve scoured her Youtube page high and low. And there is a slew of work-out videos with her training to do basically this exact elimination.

In other words, Theresa had no shot from the jump.

Kaycee has a Gold Skull now, which means she can finally tone it down a little bit and hopefully coast unnoticed to TJ’s Final.

Winner: Theresa

After the Exes II Final, where she came in second place paired with Leroy, Theresa just sort of disappeared from the Challenge universe. She did that thing every fan of The Challenge hates to hear; she grew up, got a life, and started a family like a normal person. Some silly shit like that. She left near the top, abruptly and unfulfilled.

But that itch never quite goes away.

The “Returning Veteran Slot” has been a mixed bag since The Challenge Gods began casting it. Brad was a whole ass mess in his two season return. Veronica was, ya know, shaky. But Theresa nailed it. She made the most of her time back. She got involved, she made weird facial expressions, she made things messy. In other words, she was Theresa again.

A slightly more mature version of Theresa (considering she’s a mom now) to be sure, but she still understood how to dance the dance. I doubt we’ll ever see her again, but it was a treat to have her back for one last ride.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check back Monday for a special Mid Season Challenge awards feature! And as always…Happy Challenge Watching!