The Challenge: Double Agents Episode 7 Recap — Winners & Losers

Welcome back to another edition of Winners & Losers! After that whirlwind of an episode, we have a lot to cover. From production budgets to full moons, there’s a lot to sort out…

Winner: Kyle’s Confessional Looks

There’s been a particular emphasis by the cast this season on what they’re wearing during confessionals. Between the black turtleneck/gold chain look that’s permeating through the house and the obvious James Bond motif direction, it’s been quite a dapper season thus far.

Kyle’s drip has risen above the rest though. His looks have been simple, clean, and smooth. He reminds me of that guy at the party that’s just a little too well dressed while you’re wearing the same jeans for the sixth day in a row. Then you see that same guy for the at party for the ninth time and by then you’re running up to him with a big hug like “Oh yeah! It’s this guy!”

Loser: Production Budget

I don’t think I cant emphasize this enough…That was not a cheap daily Challenge!

Helicopter rental, helicopter pilot, helicopter gas, flight permits, helicopter insurance, helicopter paint job, 8–10 person crew for pre-set up, same crew at the same hourly rate for post production break down, boat rental to get contestants from the water, boat captain, boat crew including divers just in case of emergency, medics on standby, craft services…I mean the line items for this single daily are never ending. Logistically this thing was probably a headache.

When The Challenge Gods present next season’s budget to the Corporate Gods, anything number higher than this season’s is almost certainly going to be a no-go. The fat old white guys in suits making these decisions will just play back the clips from this week’s daily as their reasoning and they’re teflon. How are the Challenge Gods going to argue when the footage shows Fessy and Kyle flying around on a helicopter with an amazing view of the Icelandic mountain ranges surrounding them like they’re on the most twisted Bachelor date ever.

Throwing daily challenges has been a tradition as old as time. But this was something different entirely.

Loser: Lolo

Playing possum and not showing off is actually a pretty smart strategy for her and the only reasonable explanation I can come up with for her lack of dominance so far. Not even dominance, just trying. Theresa and the rest of the girls should have been dog food on this Challenge and yet I didn’t even notice Lolo competing.

Winner: Amber B.

Yes, I did check. She has been around since the first episode.

Winner: TJ

Totally.

Also lmaoooooo at the end when he announced that “one second separated the winners”. TJ may as well have said “Fuck you guys, we’re all really mad at you. Kaycee, thank you for genuinely trying.”

Loser: TJ

Alright, I guess I’ll be the one to say it. It’s super easy to criticize when your chances of getting wet are the same as mine. I know that’s how this whole thing works, but still. It looked unbearably cold that day, so I do slightly understand why they all chickened out.

Loser: Klub K0ViD

Back in the suburb of Chicago where I grew up, like most towns, there wasn’t much to do as a teenager. I mean this town was basically just houses, a high school, grocery store, any fast food you could want, and fifteen bars. None of you give a shit about this, but the point is, as young rascals just looking to drink the most cheap beer we could get our hands on, our options were limited to forests and garages.

Watching the breathe steam out of everyone’s mouth like they’re playing linebacker in the NFC Championship Game brought back some chilly memories of freezing our shriveled dicks off just to catch a buzz.

I bet they miss those weird basement bars from Total Madness more than they ever thought they would.

Loser: Mechie

Is that a full length zip-up hoodie? That’s like the platypus of attire. Just be one thing!

Winner: Mooning

I haven’t seen that move in forever.

Winner: Devin

The sequel’s never as good as the original, but this one was pretty damn close.

I have a friend who acts a lot like Devin acted on last night’s episode. So I’ve learned how to deal with it over the years. You just gotta keep responding to their bullshit with “fer sure, fer sure” until they get bored and move on. Fessy handled it in the opposite way of that. He showed his ass just like Devin did. That being said…

Winner: Fessy

Okay so maybe he was just slammhammered and wanted to eat some Nacho Bitchass as drunk food? I love Nacho’s. I’ve never in the style of Bitchass, but I’m always open to trying new cuisine.

But he did slur his way into a pretty good point. Nobody does want to see him down there. If that daily challenge was any indication, there’s a lot of pussy-chicken’s on the male side right now.

Also, unlike the other guy from Big Brother, he did pretty quickly remove himself from the situation and stay out. Which is easier said than done when that drunk/riled up.

Loser: The Editors

While it’s entirely possible I’m just not smart enough to piece it together, but by the time we got to the juicy part of deliberation I was pretty confused. To quote legendary dirtbag Fred Durst, it was all about the he-said-she-said-bullshit.

Every side conversation that contained relevant information leading up to that explosion was so choppy and piecemeal that I didn’t internalize any of it. So by the time I was able to even begin recalling details, they had already moved on to the voting process.

Lemme take a quick stab at it…

So Theresa brought up the idea of getting Darrell out to CT; then somewhere off screen CT spread that information; then at the daily Theresa tried getting everyone to throw it so she could win; but then that was apparently to get Darrell out even though his partner, Amber B., was one of those people; but it actually wasn’t about Darrell it was about saving Jay; then Darrell found out and Theresa got upset people were saying that; then Kam was still mad about last week…yeah see I’m already lost.

These editors gotta slowwwwwwww the fuck down man. I promise you shots can be longer than a TikTok and still be effective.

Loser: CT’s Dinner

The only burning question I have about this episode, maybe the only burning question I have about life at the moment, is was CT able to finish cooking dinner?!?!

One big stir fry and something roasting in the oven? Looks like he was cooking for the group, and if you’re cooking for a lot of people that means one thing. A lot of prep. Prepping a meal for 20+ people can easily take over an hour. I know if I were stuck in a house with nothing to do I wouldn’t mind some menial task like chopping onions and mincing garlic to kill some time.

I sure hope when those weird elimination lights started going off, they didn’t force CT to scrap all the hard work and rush to get changed. That would make me really sad for both CT and the meal.

Loser: Challenge Gods

They took a few L’s this week. First the male cast members took their power back and straight refused to participate in the daily challenge. Then telling all the guys their vote didn’t count, and then it having no effect on the outcome at all, must have been a real kick in the dick.

Winner: Pyro Gal/Guy

I was starting to get worried about their job security for a second. That’s a pretty sensitive issue these days. But luckily for us the Challenge Gods got twitchy and needed to set something on fire. 7Happy to see them back. I was beginning to get nostalgic for gratuitous arson.

Winner: Leroy

Last time Leroy did this elimination it went something like this…

So once I saw the set up of last night’s elimination, I knew Jay was lunch meat. And he sure as hell was.

I’m super happy for my guy Leroy. And I’m even happier he got his Gold Skull by going down there and doing it himself. On his retirement season, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check back tomorrow, where you’ll find Volume 3 in my series A Moment in Challenge History. Happy Challenge watching, see you next week!