The Challenge Double Agents Episode 13 Recap — Winners & Losers
Welcome back to another edition of Winners & Losers! Make yourself a testicle snack, pour up some cheese juice, and enjoy! This week Big T’s biggest accomplishment falls apart, Jordan catches some strays, years of loyalty are finally rewarded and more….
Winner: Big T
So, what, she just got to stand there and watch her friends…stand there? On one hand she didn’t have to drink cheese water and eat Sean McVay’s testicles. But on the other hand, I imagine that was kind of boring. I hope they at least gave her a magazine or something.
Loser: Kaycee
Why wouldn’t there be cheese in the Arctic? What is she talking about? Cheese is completely universal. If and when the aliens show up it’s entirely possible cheese is the only thing that our species will have in common.
Winner: Big T
Around week four I wrote that “Big T’s accomplished a lot this season. But her most impressive feat is getting CT to enunciate”.
At the end of the day (shout out Nany), you are who you are.
Winner: Andy Dufresne
That’s all it takes really, is pressure over time.
Loser: Consequences
In real life, everything you do has consequences. Don’t look both ways before crossing the street? Get hit by a bus. Complain to Door Dash about your order too many times? Get banned from their service.
In The Challenge? Fuck it. Do whatever you want? Don’t want to do a daily? You’re good. Hang out. Chill. TJ might throw some pithy comment your way, but nothing you do has any negative reaction whatsoever.
I’ll be honest, I was pretty bummed that that daily I was looking forward to all week devolved into “watch Leroy and Kaycee do it. Hopefully they hurry, my wrist is sore and my partner is starting to smell like cheese juice.”
Shout out to Cory and Gabby for giving it a go, but it just wasn’t enough for me. My suggestion for the future? Kick them off. One warning, that’s all they get. TJ gives ’em the ole’ “you guys suck”. And then if they do it again, see ya later.
No vote. No elimination. You just go home. Make an example out of someone because this is getting silly.
Loser: The Letter ‘I’
Shout to Fessy and his flirting strategy which involves only talking about himself like an insecure high schooler. Lotta I’s, lotta Me’s, and not too many You’s.
Nothing in life is less endearing than someone who only talks about themselves, so he’s lucky that she is extra bored in that house.
Loser: Jordan
I guess this comes with the territory when you dip your pen in company ink. But man, if you’re Jordan just watching at home and catching strays from Cory must have been tough to watch.
Winner: Regina George
Winner: The Security Guy
“I might just be a door man now, but wait until I finish my screenplay. That’ll show them.”
Winner: Veteran Savvy
Come on Aneesa, you’re not fooling me. She may be sad about the inevitability of losing Fessy as a partner. But you can’t convince me she didn’t know exactly what she was doing and exactly who she was crying to. Those tears would’ve fallen on deaf ears with Gabby, so Aneesa realized her best shot at keeping Fessy was to at least make Nany second guess stealing him, regardless of that being the right move for her or not.
I’ve been watching Aneesa on TV for too damn long for her to sneak that one passed me. Smooth move, Aneesa. Smooth move.
Winner: Loyalty
When you choose a sports team, you’re stuck with them. There’s no going back, and that fandom only cuts deeper and deeper with time.
A lot of the time fandom means losing. At the end of any sports season there is only one winner. And chances are, they weren’t you. But that’s the thing, you care no matter what. You stick by your team no matter what.
So when I hitched my wagon to Leroy and Nany all those years ago, it hasn’t exactly been the most fruitful relationship. I’ve experienced loss after loss with these two. Especially with Nany.
For years, people have told me to give it up. It won’t happen for her. But that’s the thing. Fandom means you don’t give up. Fandom means you stick with them through the worst of times.
I experienced last night elimination match-up in the same way I experience a Bulls playoff game. I was locked in. I was cheering. I was screaming obscenities at my television.
I really didn’t even realize I was doing it. But it was somewhere between screaming “WHO WANTS IT?!!” and “SHE’S BARBECUE CHICKEN NANY!!!” and “TWO POINTS BACK ON D!!! TWO POINTS BACK ON D!!!” that I realized I had been sucked into an emotional hole I’ve only been dragged into a handful of times by my sports teams.
On Wednesday night March 10th, 2021, me and the rest of the fans who stuck by Nany through every cup-o-noodles, through every vodka-fueled meltdown, we were rewarded with pure elation.
And now, at the end of the day, Nany has earned her ticket to TJ’s Final.
Loser: Kyle
Man…tough couple of weeks for my guy.
Loser: 8–8:30 Central Standard Time
yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah
Oh my god where’s the remote?
yeahyeahyeahyeah
Jesus somebody find the fucking remote!
YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAYEAH
Why is that guy putting a skateboard up his butt?
YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEYAHEYAHEYAHYAYAYAYAYAYYAAAAAAA
Thanks for reading! In case you missed it, click here for my updated Power Rankings before this episode. And be sure to check back on Sunday where I’ll update them again! And as always, Happy Challenge Watching!
