The Challenge: Australia Episode 4 Recap — Winners & Losers

Welcome back to another down unda edition of Winners & Losers! Don’t look now, but Aneesa’s Algorithm is slowly dwindling on options, we’ve already said goodbye to eight Aussies! Inside this edition: Australian Boy Bands are weird, Faysal gets a real job, Conor is impatient during the bake route, and much much more…

Winner: Unexplained Jokes

Upon arrival back in the house, Cyrell finds an enormous cucumber in her bed which she claims, through haughty laughter, was left by David before he left the house for good after being eliminated last episode.

Why is this so funny?

I’m not sure. We weren’t at all privy to the set-up here. Although it’s entirely possible that between the laugh-talking and her accent she eloquently explained the joke and I just couldn’t understand her. But you know what? In this world we live in where everything demands an explanation, I’m good with it. Laugh it up, Cyrell. Have a good time.

I love inside jokes.

Loser: Fessy

That’s Faysal and Colleen’s hot tub, dammit!

I guess that’s a good point. Wise words from the decision maker.

Winner: The Little Things

I’m going to do something I never do on this blog. I’m going to reference the movie Billy Madison.

I’ve seen that movie at least a billion times in my life. And when you watch a movie that many times, so many of the bigger jokes almost don’t even register in your brain, and you begin to laugh at all the much smaller moments. Especially in a movie as jam packed with jokes as Billy Madison.

Next time you watch it, pay attention when Karl, Eric, and Billy’s Dad are playing pool after the dinner scene. Right before Billy goes and lights a bag of poop on Old Man Clemon’s doorstep.

It’s directly before this clip. They’re playing pool and talking about Madison Hotels, and they are SO BAD! It’s hilarious. They miss everything. It kills me every single time. And watching these two Aussies be self admittedly terrible at pool just conjures good memories.

Anywho, let’s get on with the chlorophyll….

Loser: Pop Groups

Australian Boy Bands are weird.

Winner: Destroying Evidence

Yeah, well, I once dunked a basketball on a twelve foot rim but once I did I I took down the rim so to this day I’m the only person to dunk on a twelve foot rim.

All jokes aside, is this like saying you built a pillow fort in your basement as a kid? What does he mean by under his house? Also, why would he not want others to attempt the obstacle course he worked hard on building?

I haven’t been this confused by a confessional in a very long time.

Loser: Goodbyes

So, if you’re Ciarran, what happens now as far as your relationship with your tattoo artist? Do you just say, welp, no more skin left, not gonna ruin my pretty face, I guess I’ll see ya around!

They’ve clearly had to have spent a ton of time together to get that level of tattoo, but eventually you just run out of real estate. Do they send each other Christmas cards? Do they just never talk again? I need to know, immediately, what their current status is. I’d just hate for such a strong bond to be ruined by something as silly as a lack of empty skin.

Loser: Betting Lingo

I believe the word you’re looking for, is ‘favorite’.

Although, I’d be totally fine with the world wide adoption of overdog.

Winner: Real Jobs

Mate, could you imagine Josh doing manual labor? Picture Faysal like putting in a tough day of work that isn’t just at an LA Fitness.

Maybe that’s what makes so many of these Aussies so likeable. A lot of them are just real people with real jobs.

Seriously, though, what does Fessy’s resume look like? Does he put “Big Brother Contestant” on there? Does Fessy even have a resume? When’s the last time he worked a long hard day? Asking for a friend.

Winner: Having A Mom On TV

I, too, look forward to the day when your son grows up and watches this and sees you screaming like a lunatic in a bedroom at some woman named Audrey regarding which constitutes dibs between under armor jerseys and heels.

That’s what she’s talking about, right?

Loser: Bogarting the Blunt

Speaking of…I’ll see you guys tomorrow!

VIVA LA REAL WORLD!

Thanks for reading! See you back here soon! And, as always, Happy Challenge Watching!!!

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Brian Batty

Writing about MTV’s The Challenge, one of America’s great institutions, from a fan’s perspective. Inquires: WillaMediaManagement@gmail.com -Twitter: @TJsAirhorn