Pluto Rewind: Rivals II Episode 4 — Winners & Losers

Brian Batty
6 min readJun 18, 2021

Welcome back to another Pluto Rewind!!! We head to Thailand for an episode of Rivals 2 titled, “Mortuusequusphobia”. Inside this edition: Seventh grader’s weep, how much would it cost for you to lick Leroy’s foot?, TJ plays dress up, and much much more…

Winner: Sweat

It’s alarming how sweaty everyone, especially the guys, were during this club scene. I half expected Patrick Ewing to walk into the room.

Loser: Jordan

In the running, and probably the front runner, for lamest thing ever said on reality television.

Loser: Jonna

Don’t fall for that line. Jesus, have some self respect. Jordan’s obviously a good lookin’ cat but anybody who refers to themselves as The Great Gatsby isn’t a guy you want to be making out with at a club in Thailand. I guess we were all young once…

Loser: Middle School English Students

Not only that, but The Great Gatsby low key sucks. Only the smartest kid in seventh grade can truly relate to that book. Can you imagine how insufferable of a know-it-all Jordan must have been in seventh grade?

Winner: Supa Hot Fire

Loser: Wes

He heard what Jordan said at the bar last night about being Leonardo DiCaprio or whatever and said hold my NFT…

Loser: The Production Assistants

“Alright team gather ‘round. Tomorrow’s call time is 4:35 A.M. on the dot. We have two thousand bamboo poles to set up on this burning hot beach. On the bright side it’s only going to be 97 degrees tomorrow, so at least it’ll cool off a bit. Oh and we’re out of water, so bring your own. Any questions? Good, see you all bright and early.”

Loser: Rajon Rondo Conjuring Imagery

Huh?

Winner: Self Branding

The Johnny Bananas Bobblehead was much too central of a figure in my life during the original airing of this season. I still had social media at the time, and the amount of Bannas Bobblehead content that littered my feed was out of control.

Did I buy one? No. Did I think about it all the time, and now regret not doing it as I’m reminded of their existence…well no not really that either. But I wouldn’t mind some sort of Challenge knick-knack for my desk. My birthday is coming up…I’m just saying…

Winner: Ketchup

I’ll just go ahead and put this on the front end, I firmly believe Jemmye is completely making up her fear of ketchup.

There it is, just throwing it out there, it’s all bullshit. Maybe that’s my fear privilege speaking. I’m afraid of heights. Like afraid afraid. Which, to be fair to me, is legitimately something to fear. Gravity’s undefeated. No point in pretending it isn’t.

But ketchup? I don’t get it, and I don’t think I ever will. There’s an actual scientific word for it, ‘Mortuusequusphobia’ which is both ridiculously spelled and an unbelievable Scrabble word. I’m sure somebody much smarter than I am could explain to me why this a thing. Or hell, I could even stop being lazy and Google it.

Fears are irrational in general, but Jemmye’s incessant cries for attention makes me think that it’s just something she chose as a young girl in Mississippi to make herself stand out.

Winner: Nany

She injected herself into the drama for absolutely no reason other than pure and true camera time in such a seamless way. Like Tiger’s golf swing or Klay Thompson’s jump-shot. It’s just so smooth.

Loser: Theresa

Really? You really wouldn’t? I call bee ess.

I mean I’d lick Leroy’s just to say I fuckin’ did it so maybe I’m the wrong guy to ask.

Winner: TJ’s Adorable Themed Outfits

Supes cute. I want Alexis Rose to come and comment on this thing I feel like she’d do a lot better in this section than I would.

Loser: Being Voted Into Elimination

Weirdly enough, I can remember exactly where I was when I watched this episode the first time. I was in my parent’s living room sitting on their new at the time black leather couch. They had already gone to bed so I fired up the episode on DVR.

That being said, I still remember how I reacted to TJ explaining the rules for this elimination round. It’s pretty simple, and it goes like this…they’re gonna hook you up to car batteries and turn them on. Whoever quits last/dies wins.

Even as a young, reckless man I thought that this was just a bitttt too much. Even for The Challenge.

Loser: Cara’s Nipples

For sure.

Loser: The Pulled Rug

Uh…..cool. (?)

Trishelle quit last episode and brought Sarah with her, so I imagine that’s why they didn’t go through with the elimination. Keep the same timeline you planned on. But like, what was the point of any of that?

In the same way that I remember how I reacted to the set-up of this elimination, I remember the exact way I felt after the reveal that it was all just schadenfreude.

“Cool, thanks MTV. Now I have this post-Taco Bell stomachache for absolutely no reason.”

Now I didn’t actually say that out loud, but I sure as hell felt it.

Thanks for reading!!! Be sure to check back next week for another episode of Pluto Rewind, and as always, Happy Challenge Watching!!!

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Brian Batty

Writing about MTV’s The Challenge, one of America’s great institutions, from a fan’s perspective. Inquires: WillaMediaManagement@gmail.com -Twitter: @TJsAirhorn