Pluto Rewind: Bloodlines Episode 12 (The Final Part One) — Winners & Losers
Welcome back to another Pluto Rewind!!! We head into the weekend on a high note with part one of the Bloodline Final. Inside this edition: We stan a king, Germany predicts 2021 restaurant trends six years early, Jenna and Brianna have a big secret, and much much more…
Winner: Mitch
MIITCHHH!!!!!!
Quite possibly my favorite like non Leroy/CT/etc. person to ever come on this show. Just had absolutely no business being on TV. No TV casting executive who’s ever lived would have casted him on purpose.
But sometimes that’s how it works. He wasn’t exactly a magnetic personality, but surrounded by people who try really really hard to be magnetic, he stood out so much.
We’ve all known a Mitch. Whether we cheated off of him in math class or we’re in the same D&D Guild as him, it doesn’t matter. Mitch is universal.
Long live King Mitch.
Loser: Jamie’s Stylist
Fire them. Immediately.
Beanies and cut off hoodies are tough to pull off correctly on their own, but both worn together? At a clearly bangin’ nightclub in Berlin Germany? Come one man. Be better. You’re international now dog.
Winner: Jenna’s Veteran Savvy
At this point she’s spent about fifteen minutes more in a Final Challenge than anyone reading this combined.
The season before her and her ex boyfriend Club Rat Jay quit the Final pretty much right away when they both couldn’t (wouldn’t?) drink green fish water. Club Rat Jay even cried about it.
But now with her second Final challenge in a row approaching later in the episode, and most likely a handful of Long Island Iced Tea’s coursing through her veins, Jenna’s ready to dole out some sage wisdom. Which is as funny as you’d expect it to be.
Loser: Brianna’s Opinions
No, you’re annoying.
Winner: The Paramount Plus Subtitle Person
Lmao
Winner: Gravity
Despite what how it may seem, really nothing at all happened between those two pictures to cause such a catastrophic shift in body placement. Just some really, really strong German cocktails.
Winner: The Notes App
Gets me every time.
Winner: Mason Plumlee
I once saw NBA mega-super-duper-star Mason Plumlee getting measured for a tailored suit while I was walking from the Red Line to work down town. That’s all I got.
Loser: The Super League
When the Double Agents Final kicked off, I remarked on how stacked the final group was. It was strong teams all around, with really no weak link in sight. And I honestly had no idea who was going to win, simply because I could talk myself into all four teams. This time around?
Woof. Not exactly the Monstars here.
Winner: QR Codes
Shout out to the gigantic restaurant menu on top of this abandoned building. This was all the way back in 2015 too. German’s were ahead of their time, man.
Winner: Logan Square
That one’s a deep cut for the five people from Chicago who might read this.
Winner: Landfill and his Brother Gil
Loser: The Janitor
Who in the hell has to clean up all the broken glass? You know how annoying broken glass is to clean? Not to mention dangerous.
Like what the hell? Between three teams being really bad at this, that’s a big ass mess. I rarely ever virtue signal around here but shout out to the little guy. Whatever intern/PA that was stuck cleaning that up I hope at least got a choice of a vegan option on the plane ride home.
Winner: Cory
Loser: Bad Drinkers
I have a friend that back in the day was the absolute worst to have on your team for any drinking game. Like I felt like Dunbar at the beginning of Rivals 2 when he got stuck with Tyrie. It honestly didn’t matter what I did or how hard I tried. We were going to lose. Which, ya know, who cares how bad someone is at drinking beer. The problem is, like Tyrie, she always insisted on playing. She’s a really nice person and all, just so annoying for someone as competitive as me to have at parties.
Cara made all those demons resurface for me with her beer drinking performance here. Just because of this, I’m gonna text my friend just to tell her I am retroactively disappointed in her.
Winner: This Wild Ass Abandoned Building
Seriously, how much hard drug use is happening here at any given moment? I half expected Mare to bust in and find her grandson’s mother relapsing yet again during my rewatch. On second thought, maybe they just left all the glass there from earlier.
Loser: The End Of Prom
After what looked like an extremely grueling first part of the Final, they treat the cast to a limo ride around the city of Berlin. Because why not?
Tell me what the difference is between this and the end of senior prom?
Everyone’s sweaty and tired and kinda sad because that was a lot less fun than anticipated. Cara and Jamie are the couple that fought the entire time because they’re going to different colleges and deep down know it’s the end. Mitch and Cory are the dudes who went with Jenna and Brianna even though they’re all just friends, they just couldn’t find dates. Jenna and Brianna are going to a different (much cooler) prom weekend than the other four, but they haven’t told any of them yet. They’re waiting to break the news to the rest of the group when they get back to Mitch’s house where his mom has assuredly prepared way too many sandwiches that only Cory is going to eat because he’s the only one in the group that understands the power in being charming to mothers. Plus she’s his aunt.
Oh wait, your prom didn’t suck? Must be nice.
Thanks for reading!!! Have a great weekend everybody. Go drink a bunch of beer in an abandoned building and throw your garbage wherever the hell you want in honor of your favorite challengers. As always, happy Challenge watching!!!
